The holiday season is all about family and coming together. For blended families,
there are some unique challenges that can leave parents and kids feeling awkward.
Here are a few tips for parents in blended families looking to break the ice this holiday season.
Avoid making assumptions about which child is going where and when. Make sure all the parents are involved and communicate the holiday schedules clearly. Be respectful and open to compromise. It’s important to remember that the kids will see how you handle adult problems and use that as a model for how they’re going to resolve conflict.
When planning your blended family’s holiday celebrations, it’s important to consider the ages and wishes of all the children involved. With older children, parents might find it helpful to talk to them and have a discussion about what they’re looking for. Younger children might benefit from reading books about holiday celebrations as a blended family.
Don’t: Compete
Avoid competing over who spends what time where, gifts or traditions. The most important thing is that the children feel loved and supported. Be conscious of setting past conflicts and resentment aside. Parents should also be careful not to encourage competition between siblings.
Do: Feel Free to Spread Out Gatherings
Even if seeing everyone in one day is possible, it might be best to spread the visits out over a couple of days to avoid overwhelming the kids and rushing off from one gathering to the next.
Don’t: Speak Badly of Another Parent
Kids hear and see a lot more than grownups might think. Even if venting feels cathartic, kids might feel pressured to mirror your feelings or worry that they’re the cause of a disagreement. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
If another parent speaks badly of you, avoid retaliating and instead reassure the children involved to provide a sense of stability and break the tension that builds when kids anticipate a conflict.
Do: Create New Traditions
New experiences can help siblings in blended families bond. Try something new together in addition to the holiday traditions you’re accustomed to. Talk to the children and ask them if there’s something they’d like to try together. Doing activities together can help serve as an icebreaker when kids are getting to know each other. Families can try a new recipe, visit a new place, read a new story or help the kids make their own decorations—the possibilities are endless.
The post The Do’s and Don’ts of Celebrating the Holidays as a Blended Family appeared first on Chesapeake Family.